How to properly categorize emotions after grief?

I want to be able to properly categorize my emotions so I know what I should let myself feel , how do you tell what it is your feeling and why? Like if someone dies how do you know if what your feeling is grief or sadness or if your feeling sorry for yourself? What's the best way to categorize my emotions so I can be ok in dealing with them without feeling like a bad person or like feeling sorry for oneself, but I want to not be emotionless either.